Tell him your worried about his HEALTH not his weight. Then say that your also worried about your own HEALTH and that you'd like it if you both tried to lead a healthier lifestyle. I would be very clear with him that you want both of you to be the healthiest people you can be so that your twilight years together are active and long = and not spent bogged down with medical expenses and trips to the hospital.

Then work together to develop and institute this healthier lifestyle. If your husband loses weight as a result of the two of you exercising and being more active together and eating healthier than "Hurrah!" If you simply see that he's eating better and being pro-active with his health then "Hurrah".

Of course I don't have a husband. I have a brother that has let his health go in recent years and I often try to challenge him to race me or remind him that it was not pleasant losing our parents so young. Though our parent's illnesses were not preventable, the things that he is doing now are leading to new health issues for him like high cholesterol, heart issues and high blood pressure.

I would freakin' love to know the answer to this question, because the BF has gained about 40 pounds since we got together (he's really tall so it doesn't show as much as it would on someone smaller, hence the large number), and no matter I do I've been unable to get him to try to shape up.

Initially, I think bombarding someone with a whole new eating regimen, or dragging them to the gym would be a bit much. Especially if these are habits the person has had for a really long time. I think Fit had some great advice about being a healthy role model, and maybe emphasizing how great you feel after a run, or how much more energy you have when you eat healthy.

I think the best way to break into exercising, is to do fun stuff!! Because most people don't really like pounding away on a treadmill.. but going for hikes, bowling, play some intramural sports or go to the pool even! The cool part is, is that you are doing it together!! We all know the benefits of having a fitness budy! So it's a work-out for both of you and you get to hang out!

This is just like my best friend. Because she's small and skinny she doesn't see a problem, but she sometimes eats junk food for every meal! And she's always tired and sick. I wish she lived closer.
Anyway, I think it's a good idea to just start slow, start taking walks and start cooking better meals and maybe making better meals for his lunch. Once you get used to that maybe bump up the workouts to going to the gym, or hiking. Or if he's anything like my boyfriend a little friendly competition will get him going. Try setting goals and whoever reaches them first or lost more weight or whatever has to cook the other dinner, or do the dishes or something. Good luck!

I do my best to cook healthy or at at best not processed meals. When he was eating crap all the time I would say things like you know how would you feel if Chloe had to grow up without her day because you ate all that crap? I don't think that's too far-fetched since my dad almost died of 3(yes 3) heart attacks when I was in first grade because he ate crap and didn't take care of himself.
He's trying to do better but is still along way off.

I wish I had a good answer...this is probably my biggest frustration right now. I feel like I would literally have to do all the cooking and food shopping and planning to make even a small dent. He does try though but if I was single and living by myself eating especially wouldn't be an issue...it's hard to say no when he suggests we have Taco Bell for dinner!

With my husband, I'd just poke him in the belly and tell him to start hitting the gym. We'd laugh, but he'd know I was serious.

Nagging on a person, in my experience never works, but just ask every once in a while (not every day because that can seem like nagging as well) if he'd like to go for a run with you or if he wants to try some new healthy restaurant or would he mind if you tested out some new (healthier - don't tell him that) dishes on him. Also, a lot of gyms have deals where if you sign yourself up, you can get a discount for another member of your family, so just point out to him that it could be beneficial financially if he joins too.

i feel the same way with my husband. he has a fantastic metabolism so he can eat anything he wants without gaining a pound. however, all the junk food is really catching up to him in other ways. he constantly has stomach problems and feels tired all the time. i have to force him to eat fruits and vegetables.
he DOES work out though, but only at the bare minimum as he is in the military. trying to get him to go for a walk with our dogs or accompany me to the gym is like pulling teeth!

my strategy would be join a regimen of exercising like doing team sports (tennis doubles, water polo, touch rugby, basketball etc etc..) and keeping regular at it. If he has not joined in the beginning, and if I keep my interest at it religiously, I am sure his interest would be piqued and perhaps he would be willing to give it a try...

Believe me he would join if he knew who all would be playing with you (you have to emphasize how much fun you are having).. and personally I love team sports as I sweat a lot, but I don't even feel the time pass and most of all the I enjoy it !

I wanted to take my boyfriend to do sports together but he just hates it. I also try to get him to eat with me (as in healthy eating) but he ends up with cookies later anyway. It's frustrating because he sometimes even complains about his weight gain (he's certainly not overweight, he just has a little belly now) but he won't do anything about it.

I think the best approach is to lead by example. Get fit and healthy yourself, and they will see how much more vibrant and energised you are and then want that feeling for themselves!

It shouldn't be about appearances, nagging and joking is more damaging than productive (even if I did gain weight at one point, if a loved one poked me in the belly and told me to hit the gym, I'd be devastated.)

Even if you lead by example and they still don't want to change, you're pushing uphill by trying to make remarks at them.

This question is always at the top of my mind. My husband has put on plenty of pounds after our wedding and he has a LOT of stress at work. Not a good combination. Initially, I tried telling him he needed to work at the weight because of his family history, but quickly gave that up because he'd agree and not do a thing about it.

What did work was getting a lot fitter myself, more energetic and more passionate about my fitness regime and a healthy eating habits - and talking about them with him. My schedule incorporated fitness so he started exercising too - especially after I got hit on and he discovered his jeans didn't fit!! lol!

He's on his way now, battling with consistency sometimes, but at least battling!! Now if only this would work on our parents.

I think the best option is always pure honesty. Even if it isn't what he wants to hear, he needs to know how you feel, and if you're concerned about his health and want to work together to get fit, then you need to be honest with him about it.

This all is great advice, and theres little I would add. I know it worked for us to find an activity that we both enjoy to do, so it is a lot of trial and error. As for the food try to have only healthy stuff around and personally I like to cook most things from scratch, but schedules can be tight so just try to plan healthy meals for the week and try to get him to help you plan them. And yes if you are serious about it there will probably be some arguments, just be smart about them, you are trying to build a future with him and that is why you want him to be in good health.

I flat out tell my husband my concerns all the time. We both try to be healthy, but a lot of times he'll pass on the veggies or the healthiest portion of our meals and he's a super-snacker later on at night. I battle with him to get to the gym with me, and also to have him eat healthy. He thinks because he does work out and he's thin that he's fine - but he has (genetically) high cholesterol and I constantly worry! He knows that I only nag because I love him so much and am worried about his health, and overall I think making him aware has been good for him.

My husband's eating habits are horrible. But I'm in charge of buying groceries and the only one who will cook, so over the course or our marriage I've swapped out all of his go-to junk food with healthier alternatives (sweet potato chips vs. sour cream and onion chips). I've also kept a rather strict workout schedule which I'd like to say inspired him, but he only started working out when he was ready to lose weight. I think one of the biggest catalysts for getting into the gym was kicking his butt on just about every Wii Fit game. He's incredibly competitive

I have no advice but wanted to chime in that I have this same issue. My husband is significantly overweight and has been for a while. He had lost about 100 pounds before we met but we both gained a fair bit when we got together. I don't know how much he weighs now (5 1/2 years later) but I imagine it's close to where he was before he lost the weight.

Right now it feels like there isn't much I can do because we are on opposite schedules and don't see each other much. He knows I am trying to exercise and eat better but he doesn't see me do it so my example doesn't do much. He knows he needs to change but he keeps saying he doesn't have the motivation. What the heck IS going to motivate him, I have no idea.

A few years back I got him to go the doctor (he hadn't been in years and I hoped it would get him going). The doc said he was in good shape except for his weight which was like ... great. I'm glad he's healthy (for now) but now he has no reason to change his habits!

I want to start off by saying that I agree with everyone here, you need to be honest and straightforward. However, just because he knows your concerns doesn't mean he's going to work on improving himself.

The only way I can get my husband to behave well is by doing it with him. We go grocery shopping together, and when he asks if we can get some junk food, I say something like "We probably shouldn't" and he responds "yeah... you're right."

Annnd, he won't work out unless I go with him. We do things like go for walks or bike rides together... Or that one other thing...

Point is, he definitely won't want to do it if you're not. And even if you are, he probably doesn't want to do it by himself. When you do it with him, he feels gentle pressure to play along.

I'm going through this right now... except I'm the one who needs to get in shape and lose the 20 pounds I've put on in the last 2 years. My boyfriend really wants me to get healthier, feel better about myself, and be the best me that I can and I'm trying... but it's hard to get into an exercise routine and break free of bingeing. I wish sometimes that something would just click in my head and it wouldn't be such a battle anymore.

My husband has gained a few lbs since we got married too. I'm trying to encourage him to get more active...every time I walk the dog, I ask him to come with me. Or I'll encourage him to do things he likes to do. We just got a wood stove and my husband likes to split the wood that it burns, so I ask him to do that every day.

Plus, I try to cook fairly healthy stuff for him. I don't deprive him of anything, but I do encourage him to eat fruit and veggies whenever I can.

My boyfriend has the fastest metabolism so he eats whatever he wants. He eats healthy food when I cook dinner (every night), but has a dinner with a Coke...and like 3 Little Debbie's later.